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  #21  
Old 23-03-2011, 09:10
spiderman spiderman is offline
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Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.


The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress.

The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo.

The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little broom!'

'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.



Are you ready for this? Brace yourself; this is going to hurt!!!!!!






'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'
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  #22  
Old 23-03-2011, 13:04
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Tiamaria589 Tiamaria589 is offline
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paddy had the following password at work:

mickey, minnie,plutohueyloiuedewydonaldgoofydublin

when his boss asked him why he had such a long password he replied:

Bejazus! are you really (play nice Darren) stupid? i was told me password had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital..

{ it's the way i tell em....}
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  #23  
Old 23-03-2011, 13:07
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Tiamaria589 Tiamaria589 is offline
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paddy's struggling down the road with a wardrobe.. A friend says "hey paddy why dont ya get mick to help"
paddy says
he is helping- he's inside carrying the clothes...
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  #24  
Old 23-03-2011, 13:08
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police have arrested a man who stabbed 6 people with a knitting needle..
they think he's following some sort of pattern
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  #25  
Old 24-03-2011, 22:04
Billyboy Billyboy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiamaria589 View Post
paddy had the following password at work:

mickey, minnie,plutohueyloiuedewydonaldgoofydublin

when his boss asked him why he had such a long password he replied:

Bejazus! are you feckin stupid? i was told me password had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital..

{ it's the way i tell em....}
Brilliant!!!
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  #26  
Old 26-03-2011, 16:58
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keep em coming there brill
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  #27  
Old 26-03-2011, 17:17
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Darren.B Darren.B is offline
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"




Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."
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  #28  
Old 27-03-2011, 04:19
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Darren Darren is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quisd View Post
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3year old girl to hold a torch high over her mummy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.

Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry..

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded,

"He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place....

smack his arse again!"
I could have sworn I have heard that before...... is their an echo in here.
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  #29  
Old 28-03-2011, 11:49
spiderman spiderman is offline
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A man sitting on the balcony of his Caravan with his wife and he says, "I love you."



She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"



He replies, "It's me....... talking to the beer."
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  #30  
Old 28-03-2011, 21:34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darren View Post
I could have sworn I have heard that before...... is their an echo in here.
I've deleted it ! Sorry! Over worked and underpaid
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