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  #1  
Old 10-03-2011, 01:59
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Darren Darren is offline
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Default Joke Thread

As there are a few threads popping up with jokes in them I have started this joke thread.

Anybody who wants to post a joke needs to post it in here or it will be deleted.

Make sure they are jokes you would be happy for you 10 year old kids to hear or they will be deleted and warnings/bans handed out.

Enjoy
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:48
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I went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a loaf of bread....
>
>
>
the birds were all over me!!!
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:51
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an irishman cleaning his rifle shot and killed his wife then dialled 999...

"it's my wife, i accidently killed her, i shot her!"
operator:" please calm down sir, make you make sure that she is really dead"

CLICK BANG!!

paddy: " ok- done that- what next?"
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Old 10-03-2011, 09:26
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I stole some lamb chops from asda today as I was legging it out of the shop security shouted "oi, what u doing with that" I replied spuds, carrots and gravy!
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Old 10-03-2011, 09:27
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Well I would tell it to the 10 year olds I know!

Two Italian Men On A Bus.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

'Emma come First. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, They come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one Lasta Time.'

The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig.'
She retorted indignantly. 'In this country, we don't speak aloud on Public Places about our sex lives.'

'Hey, coola down lady, ' said the man. 'Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a Justa Tellin my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi','
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Old 10-03-2011, 15:39
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Love Story

I will seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,



The Flu



Now get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!
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Old 10-03-2011, 18:03
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I bought a deodorant stick today.
The instructions said remove wrapper and push up bottom.
I can barely walk but when i Fart the room smells blooming lovely
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Old 11-03-2011, 06:45
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Careful people....
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Old 11-03-2011, 08:24
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Default Swedish Chemist

Man walks into a Swedish chemist `I wud like a deodorant please`

Chemist says `Certainly sir, which do you prefer` "Borl or Arosol"

Man replies `Neither... I`d like it for ma armpats`
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Old 11-03-2011, 09:33
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Default This one I remember from school! Still makes me laugh!

Two buckets of sick walking down the road, suddenly one starts to cry.
"whats the matter?" Said the other one.
- "I was brought-up here!

" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "

I know - weird sense of humour! (i have the mental age of a 10 year old I guess)
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